Unfair sex tourism in Kenya.© Lonely Planet.

You can have a lot of fun by reading the Swahili pocket guide, specially sections like Romance. Unless you had the chance to compare it with real experiences:

Lonely planet Swahili pocket guide. Romance Section. (Mapenzi).Page 131.

-Where would you like to go (tonight)?/Unataka kwenda wapi (jioni hii)?
-Would you like to do something tomorrow?/Unataka kupanga pamoja (kwa kesho)?

The editors have chosen three chitas (guepards) in hunting attitude below these phrases. (It really fits, despite it is not their intention).


Mombasa (East of Kenya coast-2005).

Me and my friend decided to leave for a while the Mombasa Serena Beach (really nice resort built by Aga Khan) and have a look of Mombasa's nightlife. We pass throught many clubs and discos but all of them look the same. Finally we choose one. The parking area is full of foreigners cars. We come in with other foreigners. It is quite dark, pop dancing music inside, Kenyan ladies around. I didn't pay attention to the entrance area, we have sit and the atmosphere looks quite normal. "We don't have to be in a hurry", says one of the foreigner beside us, certainly we don't".

Lonely Planet Swahili Pocket guide. Romance Section (Mapenzi). Page132.

Would you like a drink?/Unywe kinywaji?

You like like someone I know./Unafanana mtu ninayejua.

Can I dance with you?/Tucheze densi?

Can I take you to my place?/Nikusindikize kwako?

Someone here looks really in a hurry.

Mombasa Disco-night club. 2005.

Neither the rejection nor aceptance answers are needed to be mentioned. Even the previous questions, either, actually should be done in a different way:

-When are you inviting me for a drink?

-When are you dancing with me?.

-When are you taking me to your place?.

These are the right ones. As soon as we reach the dancing area we realize that the disco is slightly different to what we thought. Groups of young or not so young Kenyan girls, stared to us and came straightforward. Actually yes, it was no need to be anxious. They just say hello, and try to keep holding our hands after shaking, but we don't pay attention. This doesn't make a big difference anyway, another group is comming trying the same. My friend looks a little bit harazed and warns me: avoid to have sex, AIDS is spread more than you expect here!. Finally we decide to to talk with another group, and my friend moves to the dancing court, to enjoy dancing a little bit. I keep myself in the border...

Lonely Planet Swahili pocket guide. Romance Section (Mapenzi). Page 131 (local talk).

He/she is a babe/Huyu ni mrembo.

He/she is hot/Huyu amependeza sana sana.

He's a bastard/Yeye ni mshenzi.

She's a bitch/Yeye ni jahili.

He/She get around/Yeye ni jamvi la wageni.

Mombasa disco-night club.2005.

I think it is difficult to hear these "bad words" here. While 100 or more Kenyan girls are dancing, some alone, some with foreigners, one girl focuses on me, and starts talking. Her name is Amina Faisal, very young let's say babe, too young, quite atractive, thin, but with the kind of curves you can hardly find in other races. Very expresive and big eyes, curly and half long hair, the teeth is not really white, the topic is not complete. Of course she is Muslim, from Nairobi or a nearby city, not from Mombasa, she said, I am not pretty sure about it...She is not a prostitute by the way, but I will come back to the issue later on. I am trying to be polite, I talk to her, dance with her, invite to a soft drink, but she is insisting in holding my hand, too much absorving girl, and I am not expecting from her anything else...

Lonely planet Swahili Pocket Guide. Romance Section. (Mapenzi). Page 133. (Geting closer).

-I like you very much/Nakupenda sana.

-Can I kiss you?/Nikubusu?.

-Do you want a massage?/Unataka kuchuliwa?.

-Can I stay over?/Nikae usiku huu?.

Mombasa disco-night club 2005.

Obviously, others are geting closer....or going further, as you like. I am walking around the place, reaching the darkest area close to the entrance. I notice more things now. Group of grey hair westeners stay there far from the dancing area. Some of them have two young pretty Kenian girls on their knees!!!!. They look at me in a such unexpresive way!!!. May be they think: "I am here and this is a poor country, it is not my fault!!!. The girls in exchange of sex, expect drinks, may be one dinner, some small tips at the end, necklaces, but no fares, no prices, no previous deals. Whatever they can get is ok. I decide to go to the bar and dancing court, I get into there, and two or three star dancing around me, separated, by getting closer and closer and sexyier, they are not thin at all, like Amina, their hairs have so many different colours, shapes, and textures, so many possibilities for the some kind of hair!!!. Amina is still there and try to approach again, and keep all the girls away from me. "These girls are not good, you have to take care", she told me. I cannot feel the difference, really. I talk to another lady quite older than the average, despite her attitude looks the same.

Lonely planet Swahili pocket guide. Romance section (Mapenzi). Pages 133-136.

-Kiss me./Nibusu.

-I want you./Nakutaka.

-Let's go to bed./Twende kitandani.

-Touch me here./Niguse hapa.

-Do you like these?./Unapenda hii?.

-Do you have a condom?/Una kondom?.

-Oh my God!/Mwenyezi Mungu!

-Easy lion!/Tulia, simba!

-I love you/Nakupenda.

-I don't think it is working out/Sidhani inafaa.

-You are just using me for sex/Unanitumia kwa mapenzi tu.

-I have to leave (tomorrow)/Inabidi niondoke (kesho).

-I'll keep in touch./Nitakuwasiliana.

Mombasa disco night-club (2005). The end.

I mixed on purpose the expresions of before, during and after the sexual appointment, I think can be useful. Most of the western turists behaviors I could see that night, were, from my point of view, completely unfair inmoral and abusive. But I wonder to myself how would be the right one?. Is it correct to talk to the Kenyan girls at the disco?. Why not?. There's no risk to be converted to salt, as far as I know. Is it correct to offer them one drink?. I think so. Is it ok to dance with them?. No problem. And invite them to have dinner?. Ok. What about offering them some presents, like necklaces, t-shirts, shoes, etc.? No problem at all. And finally, what about having sex with them, after the presents?. Definetely not. If you do it, simply you are taking advantage of one extreme situation, that makes these girls to follow desperetely any westener, and offering them no matter what, in exchange of ridiculous tips or presents. In a different situation, these girls never ever had paid attention to these grey-hair and extremely average-pattern white skin guys.

Some NGO's operating in third world countries have very strict clauses in their contracts with their expatriated co-operants, practically forbidding affairs with native people. In the case of turists, I wished we had a not written code, based on common sense and ethic, which made these behaviors something to feel shame of and disappear.

By the way, I didn't mention most of the Swahili expresions included in Romance section, but anyway, don't worry English is widely and properly spoken all around the country. ..,).